From the category archives:

I’m totally undateable

August 15, 2010

32

In Which Being A Real Adult Is Sort Of A Figment Of My Imagination

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You see, my life consists of two quite opposing ways of living: 1. ways in which I am a Real Adult and 2. ways in which I am not a Real Adult. There are times that even I am convinced that I am on the fast track to adulthood, but then there are the inevitable setbacks. The setbacks that seem to happen every day, rather than every other month like how maybe the life of a Real Adult might actually ...

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August 9, 2010

17

This Is What Happens When Doves Cry. But Not At All. Not Even A Little Bit.

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Ever have those moments when you’re sitting at your computer and you feel like you’re going to write the best blog post ever? That people will start screaming your name in the streets of their hometown because your blog post WAS REALLY JUST THAT GOOD? And then you sit down and you open up WordPress and you go to that happy place on the left side that says, “Add New” and you’re feeling like you’re about to do something like ...

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July 7, 2010

17

If You’d Like Me To Sleep With You, Do Not Introduce Me to Taio Cruz

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This past Saturday morning, after a frighteningly large amount of pomegranate vodka, Nicole snuck into my bed at exactly 6:01 a.m. to wake me up, since she’s a raging insomniac and gets terribly impatient when I, you know, would like to sleep. She wants to play. At 6:01 a.m. on a Saturday morning. After a night where we, in the midst of talking, happened to down an entire fifth of vodka in the span of two hours. After the last drop ...

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June 29, 2010

47

In Which Backstreet’s Back, Alright & I’m A 14 Year Old Teeny Bopper Again

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So, I just got back from the Backstreet Boys concert at the Warfield and I know, you are either jealous or you want to judge me. If you want to judge me, then sh sh sh, bye bye. None of that here. Because, THE BACKSTREET BOYS ARE THE SHIT. Don’t even lie that when “Everybody” comes on, you’re not going to scream at the top of your lungs, “BACKSTREET’S BACK, ALRIGHT!” If you don’t want to scream that at the ...

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June 10, 2010

69

Things I Don’t Understand Even When People Explain Them To Me

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In terms of intelligence, I consider myself to be somewhat above average and yet… AND YET. There are some things, just, some of those things that, even when someone explains them to me, my brain tends to implode upon itself and I’m left there with drool coming out of my mouth, pointing at the shiniest thing. Or, you know, I just nod like I understand, but really? I have no for serious clue what the person is talking about and ...

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