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November 30, 2010

SPOILER ALERT: Somehow, By The End Of This Post, I Will Have Convinced Myself I Have Schizophrenia

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You see, I’ve been in a little bit of a situation lately when it comes to what I consider, “entertaining reading material.” As in, “entertaining reading material” apparently, to me, is “horrifically sad and disturbing reading material, which makes you rethink who you are as a person entirely.” You should know that this post will ...

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October 28, 2010

Why Chicks Dress Slutty For Halloween (Just kidding.) (Well, kind of.) (Oh, just read the post.)

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One year I went as Dolly Parton for Halloween, mostly because I had a blonde wig lying around and enough chest to fill out a very tight-fitting dress. Once I hit the town, red lipstick on my lips and brown knee-high boots on my feets, the first person I ran into was all, “Oh! You’re ...

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October 11, 2010

In Which I’ve Made A Decision And That Decision Is Right Down There. Yes, Down There. In The Post. Not Down THERE. God, Gross.

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Oh, hi, hello. How are you? Yes, I’m alive. Yes, this is me coming out from under a mountain of indecisiveness to tell you that I HAVE MADE A DECISION. I know you think that this is not a big feat, but for me, at this present moment, oh, oh, oh, it is. My dearling, ...

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September 2, 2010

Will Somebody Please Explain To Me How To Correctly Use “Apropos” In A Sentence?

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SPOILER ALERT: $15 iTunes gift certificate goes to the funniest comment on this post. Go, chickadees. There are certain words in the English language that, when you hear or see them used, you think that they are made up words existing for the primary purpose of messing with you. One word that comes to mind ...

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