About Jamie (That’s Me)
Got it back now.
Hi! How are you? Your hair looks fucking great today. New shampoo? It smells good, too. Damn. Get some.
I live in LA with my adorable Tunisian fiance and his name is Houssem. If you don’t know where Tunisia is, I won’t blame you. When I first met Houssem, he didn’t speak any English, so I mistakenly thought he was from Torino, which is in Italy, so I was excited to have met an Italian man only to Google Tunisia and find out that Tunisia is actually in NORTH AFRICA which is just not Italy. Houssem and I met in Paris and lived there for a year, in which it wasn’t all baguettes and berets. After two years of living in a handful of European cities, plus an 8 month period in which we were living 5,000+ miles from each other, we are now happily reunited. Our wedding is in Vegas and it is on June 8th, 2013. If I don’t update this after that date, just assume I’m married.
I’m a writer, pretty much by process of elimination. I am also a professional aspirationalist. That’s not a word, but I’ve made it into one, since there was nothing that could quite describe me because I didn’t want to say I’m a “professional dreamer” because that sounds like some hippie shit. I have aspirations, like, lots of them. If you’d like me to create a TV show, get in touch with me. How about publishing my memoir? Get in touch. If you are from The Ellen Show, I will, of course, accept your interview and would be delighted to dance it out with my girl, so long as she doesn’t prank me by making me eat cilantro. In fact, I want no cilantro in anything. I have requested that, when I am rich as fuck, I have a personal assistant who’s only job is to make sure cilantro does not enter my food. I WILL PAY THIS PERSON A LOT OF MONEY TO BE DEVOTED ONLY TO ME. It will be like the secret service of food. You shouldn’t even have a family because I will want you to be monitoring my food night and day. I’ll require that you always have a headset and if I even eat one sprig of cilantro, you will disappear into the night and never be heard of again.
I’m clearly very low maintenance.