Ever have those moments when you’re sitting at your computer and you feel like you’re going to write the best blog post ever? That people will start screaming your name in the streets of their hometown because your blog post WAS REALLY JUST THAT GOOD? And then you sit down and you open up WordPress and you go to that happy place on the left side that says, “Add New” and you’re feeling like you’re about to do something like change the world or feed baby tigers that need feeding. And you open up the post.
And then you know what happens?
You stare at the blank white screen for an entire hour without writing anything of any importance. Not even a title. NOT EVEN A TITLE.
And then you start checking Twitter because you’re getting restless. But then you click on someone else’s blog post and just the fact that they’ve even completed a sentence kills you because you? Well, you still don’t even have a topic. NOT EVEN A TOPIC. NOT EVEN ONE. So, you’re all, “THINK JAMIE THINK.” Hmmmm. (That’s me thinking.)
HMMMMMMM.
Oh! Maybe you’ll write about whiskey or how it’s a goddamn winter wonderland in San Francisco during the SUMMER MONTH OF AUGUST. But you’re all, “who the fuck would want to read that? I don’t even want to read that.”
And then you open up your email, which just screams, “ANSWER ME!” And maybe you get a text message or a voicemail and just the thought, oh dear god, THE THOUGHT, of having to return another voicemail or another text message makes you want to slam your head onto your very expensive laptop.
So, then you talk to your roommate. And you bitch about how you can’t write anything worthwhile ever and no one will give you a book deal because, well, you suck. And then you laugh a little because really? You know you’re awesome. And today, TODAY, you will have a good hair day even if you don’t ever want to blow dry your hair. And you decide that today, TODAY, you will find the cutest outfit to wear even though you haven’t done laundry in an embarrassingly long amount of time, which you then realize you shouldn’t admit to people who might think you’re respectable or that you’re an adult.
And then, all of a sudden, you have written a diatribe about how you had nothing to write about and that, my friends, is either an indication of prodigy-like-talent or an indication of some form of crazy.
I’m going with both.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I hear you. Sometimes during the middle of the night, I’ll wake up and end up writing (what seems to be) a brilliant blog post in my mind. Completely written out, sentence for sentence…And then instead of reaching for my computer, I’ll think of how I don’t want to write it all over again and how it’ll never match up, so I just let it go. And end up writing nothing.
Even writing about nothing is writing about something…Worked for Seinfeld. =P
Thanx for resisting to use an overused punchline…
I, too, feel you so hard on this. Sometimes I sit and stare at the screen like I’m waiting for divine intervention because I’m sure baby Jesus or Santa or whoever is in charge of such things surely doesn’t have anything better to do than write a blog post/term paper/grocery list for me.
Oh, and adult things like laundry are totally overrated
Yeahhhh, definitely both.
But really, I’ve *tried* writing about having nothing to write about, and I didn’t get nearly as many words in as you just did. Mad props, girl.
At least you stare at the blank screen. I usually just let two weeks pass without a post.
Story of my life. Fer-reeul.
LOL. Love the blog. You are a riot.
love it.
I usually end up writing posts that I decide are hilarious up until the last paragraph that then takes four days to pull together. Which basically just suggests that I ream off lame jokes without any real structure whatsoever.
I say own it.
That is pretty much every blog I’ve ever written. It’s like OMG I AM A GENIUS AND HYSTERICAL AND CHELSEA LATELY WILL PAY ME TO BE HER ASSISTANT…and then I write it and it’s like a fourth grade personal narrative.
Although I thrive on emails and voice mails but that’s because I work a desk job where emailing people about inappropriate things is what gets me through the day.
Ugh. I know this feeling all too well. Both in my blog life and in my real-job-that-pays-me-to-write-stuff life. It’s blank page anxiety syndrome. Or, BPAS. Which I mostly just made up. But not really.
If you’re Jewish you can totally do a blog post about nothing. It worked for Jerry Sienfeld.
Brilliant Lovies!! I just have to say I am still getting emails from the people posting on your last blog post! About punch lines you hate!! Jezzzz! Good one!
Getting back to this post…Just voicing your opinions on nothing is so hiliarious!!
Why don’t you talk about your style and style in the city when it is freezing in SF when it is supposed to be summertime and how people manage to look summery but freeze to death trying to look summery and how much you love jeggings!! Or what you saw in SF while walking down the street. Maybe you’ll find someones’s old scrunched up peice of paper thrown to the ground and it could be a cool mysterious note.) Maybe you’ll find a 2o% percent off Bed Bath and Beyond coupon on the street and go to BBB and bump into your long lost……… (Serendipity)!Serendipity is a propensity for making fortuitous discoveries while looking for something unrelated. I know there is something up your sleeve, but you are not letting it out. Good props for the big one…
Your Welcome..ooops you hate that!!
Jamie, I stumbled upon this blog while browsing through the Thesis Theme gallery. I just wanted to say, you’re excellent. That is all.
Yup.
I love the site design and think you have a great voice as a writer.
keep it coming! very nice post.
blog design is also interesting – unique