I Don’t Know, But I’m Starting to Think Comcast DOESN’T Care

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So, there are very few things in life that make me want to strangle puppies in the way that incompetent customer service does. First was Comcast. They suck at customer service. I know this. You know this. THEY KNOW THIS.

Which means you nor I nor them should be surprised that they created an online user name for me that’s associated with my account without even telling me they did this. Apparently, they like to be inundated with irate SMART people who think simple things they get wrong could easily be done RIGHT. So, some person gets on the phone and they were all, “Ok, we already set up a user name for you, it’s Jamie009988.” And, so I went in and tried to login but OBVIOUSLY they spelled it “Jaime” instead of “Jamie” because, I mean, WHY WOULD THEY SPELL MY NAME CORRECTLY? Clearly, this is asking way too much of a company that spends more time with their fingers up their ass tweeting all day than actually giving a shit about if their customers want to blow their brains out after calling for tech support.

ANYWAYS.

So, I finally get into my account and the guy’s all, “So, now we need to make you a secondary username and then just make that one the primary one.” Um, ok. Fine? So, it’s easy to just click “Add Secondary User” and I’m all, Ok, Comcast, NOT BAD SO FAR. But then the guy is all, “Ok, so now you need to go into a chat room in order to make this username the primary one.” And I said, “Ok.” But then my brain caught up.

“I have to do WHAT?!”

“You need to go into a chat room.” I mean, bro, I know I’m hot and people have told me I do have a bit of a good phone sex voice, but I’m not about to CYBER IT UP WITH YOU RIGHT NOW. Or, wait, EVER.

“Um, ok? Why isn’t there an easy way right here to make this the primary username?”

“I’m not sure, ma’am, but you’ll need to open up a new browser window and login to a chat room now.”

And, at this point, I kind of well, completely LOST MY MIND. Because, then we went into a chat room and apparently what I was supposed to do was wait for a representative to come into the chat room, tell this person that I need to make a username my primary one, and then report back to my phone representative. I’m the middleman between the most INEFFICIENT CUSTOMER SERVICE EVER EVER EVER.

So I said to him, “Ok, so you’re telling me I need to be on the phone with YOU while I wait for another person to chat with me online? This is the most ridiculous thing ever. Aren’t I just wasting everyone’s time because I should be able to just change this within my control panel.”

But, common sense and smartness are just too much to ask for. Because I waited for a chat representative to assist me while I heard the rep on the phone breathing. FOR OVER THREE MINUTES. And, while, yeah, you’re thinking that’s not a long time, but I assure you, IT IS. It feels like a damn lifetime when all you want to do is strangle the person closest to you and while that person is usually Nicole, that wouldn’t be good. So, finally, I was just all, “Ok, can I just use that other username to access my account?”

And he said yes. And I thought WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE ME THAT OPTION IN THE FIRST PLACE OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO OFF MYSELF. So, now I’m using some stupid login for Comcast where my name isn’t even spelled correctly because apparently you need the IQ of a dingbat in order to do anything customer service related for any of the companies I called today. I BLAME COMCAST FOR EVERYTHING WRONG.

Then, I proceeded to be even more masochistic and called Discover card, Wells Fargo, and finally, to top this whole clusterfuck of a day off, I called David’s Bridal. And they were all, “Please tell us which of these locations is closest to you: Colma, Pinole, blah blah.” And I go, “COLMA.”

“We’re sorry, please tell us which of these locations is closest to you: Colm…”

“COLMA!”

“We’re sorry, please tell us whi…”

“OMG KILL ME COLMA!!!!!”

“We’re sorry…”

And, then I gave up. Not just on customer service reps, but on life. And, I prayed to god that he would please, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make people smarter. Like, just in general. Or, grant me the serenity to NOT COMPLETELY LOSE IT BECAUSE SOMETIMES. SOME. TIMES. I JUST CAN’T HANDLE IT.

Someone hold me.

It’s so dark.

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22 people added their two cents. Add yours.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Lisa Morosky January 27, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Oh boy. I’ve had a whole host of Comcast issues this year (like half a dozen visits to replace hardware – the faulty hardware they kept giving us, and charging us for “installing”). Eventually, my bitchtastic rants on Twitter got me my own Comcast manager-type “contact”. So we bypass the bullshit now and call him directly with everything.

If you don’t get your very own “contact”, I’m willing to share mine (I’m sure he’d just LOVE IT). :)

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2 Julie January 27, 2010 at 1:12 pm

I hate dealing with cable companies and the ALWAYS spell my name wrong!!!!!!!

KNow who has amaaaazing customer service? Netflix. seriously. i wanted to bake them a cake and cover it in puffy hearts and sprinkles and hugs because they were soooo amazing!

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3 Hank January 27, 2010 at 3:14 pm

Love this.

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4 Amy January 27, 2010 at 5:36 pm

best post I’ve read all day… and yup- totally agree. Just about any place sucks as far as customer service.

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5 Casey January 27, 2010 at 8:13 pm

you crack me the hell up. KEEP WRITING!

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6 B-ryan January 27, 2010 at 11:17 pm

They really just don’t care and they know that it’s them or satellite. It’s just like that BS user agreement you sign when you use any software. There’s no point in reading it because you need the software. Certain corporations need to shape up; however, they never will if consumers don’t act.

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7 ComcastMark January 28, 2010 at 11:44 am

I apologize for the experience. You should have been advised in the beginning that you are able to do all of these on your account. Do you mind letting me know the phone number on your account? I just wanted to look into this so that this does not happen again to other customers. Yes. We are also on Twitter! :) Comcastcares, ComcastMark, ComcastBill, ComcastDoug, ComcastBonnie, ComcastMelissa, etc. You can tweet, blog or email us in the future if you need assistance. We are here to help.

Best regards,

Mark Casem
Comcast Corp.
Comcast Customer Operations
We_Can_Help@cable.comcast.com

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8 jackson January 28, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Don’t ever ever ever move to Canada and try to deal with Shaw, Telus or any other of the other companies we have up here.
It may drive you to drink, shave off pieces of your hair, kill the person who resembles anyone close to you, or just jump off the highest bridge you can find.
After being on HOLD forever, you get a person with the IQ of a wet noodle trying to tell you how to do things.
The kindergarten way.

After that, you are ready to cancel everything and live in a hut on the end of a long beach on a remote island with a nice warm hammock. Forever.

I am convinced that the stupid people in the world will end up ruling the earth because they know nothing else but how to pro-create and whine.
And they seem to get farther in life!

Oh and good god don’t pick up an office job, it will definitely send you over the edge.

Hugs

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9 Todd January 28, 2010 at 10:40 pm

Yeah, I’m pretty disappointed with Comcast, too. It isn’t that the people are bad (the ones I have spoken with really DO want to help), it’s that their systems are completely FUBAR.

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10 Theresa Taylor January 29, 2010 at 10:30 pm

I gave up comcast for “New Years”. One of my New Years resolutions. I don’t need the stress and jumping off of bridges in my life right now.
You need to get the stress out of your life….
Thanks for the heads-up post!!!
Love your BLOGS!!!
xoxo

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11 HeSaid/SheSaid January 31, 2010 at 1:17 pm

Are all companies stupid. I flew recently and got hit with the$25 bag charge. The clerk said it’s routine…. if it’s routine why doesn’t the airline just charge me when I buy the ticket? If so, they wouldn’t slow down the already slow lines at the check-in counter and they wouldn’t have to debate the issue with customers at the counter!

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12 Hollie February 1, 2010 at 10:37 am

Okay next time you need Comcast tell me and I will help you out. I have worked for Comcast for years and you can DM me on twitter. By the way Comcast does care and you should of been given the options. Every day Comcast looks for blog posts and tweets to see how they can help. If ever I can help you out let me know.

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13 Hollie February 1, 2010 at 10:39 am

I just noticed that Mark left you a note. I just happen to leave one too especially for those I happen to follow.

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14 megan February 2, 2010 at 1:35 pm

OMG I’m with you. I have NIGHTMARES about Comcast “customer service”. It would be really helpful if their “tech-savvy” Twitterers & blog-stalkers could help them set up processes and account management systems THAT ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE, eliminating the problem instead of trying to fix it.

And my rant on Twitter one day got me a DM from a Comcast specialist too, but all it managed to do was get me a call from someone on the regional level to tell me the same disappointing crap that the incredibly rude service rep had already given me. Which was basically telling me that they were, in fact, STILL TAKING MY MONEY & couldn’t really tell me why. That’s all.

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15 Casey February 2, 2010 at 8:27 pm

i just read this post last week and today at work my boss was going through the EXACT same situation and i was like wtf i JUST read a blog post about that same EXACT comcast issue!

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16 Scott February 11, 2010 at 9:08 am

Hi There. My dear, you are hardly alone. I took a step to help you, I emailed executives at Detreon_Roberts@cable.comcast.com, and we_can_help@comcast.com, with your blog URL and asked them to get in touch with you (and reamed them good). I hope they get in touch with you soon and make it right for you, and that you really let them know how you feel. Great blog post. Sadly, it seems you have to blog, tweet them, or write executives to get their attention these days for basic matters to get them to Oh, I don’t know DO THEIR JOBS.

Oh – I’ve already heard back from Detreon – he says they have already tried to reach out to you :)

Have a better day.

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17 Beth February 11, 2010 at 9:26 am

Nice that they are contacting you via this site but an even better method would be to make sure your employees are educated on all of your account options. The more specialty representatives have to clean up the lower level messes the greater the chance that the next time you call in you are given accurate information.

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18 James February 11, 2010 at 11:20 am

I had a similar problem with AT&T. When opening the account over the phone, they heard Goff and not Goss.

I called customer service six times to correct it, and each time they either said it was fixed, or directed me to the sales department, who then said it was fixed.

It was never fixed. I had to cancel the account and open a new one to finally fix it.

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19 BOB February 11, 2010 at 10:01 pm

wow, the issue of the misspelled username is a 5 second fix that she could have done herself. Log in to Smartzone, click “my account” at the top, then click on “CHANGE USER NAME”. It’s that easy. The problem here was that the person she spoke to was probably either in billing or “customer service” and they probably had heard of this issue before and thought they knew how to fix it when they should have transferred the customer to tech support. Too often I see billing agents trying to do tech support and giving out incorrect info or wasting the customer’s time by doing pointless things, such as this one. Everyone in tech support knows how to change a username, creating a secondary then promoting that to primary is a long, drawn-out process that is unnecessary.

For everyone: in the future if you call Comcast for help with a technical issue – please make sure you are speaking to TECH SUPPORT! Thanks.

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20 Lori February 15, 2010 at 4:46 pm

Oh goodness I had a great laugh.

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21 Grace February 25, 2010 at 9:17 am

I loathe bad customer service. If I get excellent customer service somewhere I keep going back even if they do not have the best prices or the exact product I want. It makes such a big difference.

Blaming Comcast for everything is the way to go.

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22 Roger June 5, 2010 at 10:36 am

After two days on the phone with comcast they still havent got my internet working they told me I have to wait till Tuesday for a tech which is three days away, then I contacted someone online and I can do a special request that will cost me more money for them to come fix my internet that I pay have. WTF COMCAST. Any AT&T techs out there that can hook me up this weekend.

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